You only hurt the ones you love
Some of you may be thinking, “But spanking is simple! You just slap someone’s butt, right?”. Not, exactly. With a little education and by taking a little time, you can turn spanking and paddling into a fulfilling and fun experience for you and your partner(s). Not only is it a fun way to create a Dominant/submissive play experience, it can actually create a stronger bond between the participants.
First things first... CONSENT IS SEXY!
We cannot stress this enough! Prior to starting a spanking or paddling scene, talk to your partner(s) and gain consent. Establish some ground rules and boundaries, because what may seem hot in theory is very different in practice. Besides, no two butts are alike!!
The Anatomy of a Spanking
When we think of spanking, we generally think of butts. I know I do... I think of butts a lot. All jokes aside, distributing the spanking across the buttocks is key to an enjoyable and long-lasting session.
Assume the Position
Well, don’t assume anything. But positioning can play a HUGE role in how a spanking scene will play out, and can also be used to change the dynamic between the participants. The more physical stress the spankee is in due to their position, the more intense the spanking will feel. This is usually due to the tensing of muscles to maintain the position. Use this knowledge to change up the scene to fit your needs. Let’s talk positions, listed from the least physically demanding to the most.
|Laying Flat||Laying flat on the bed with the legs together creates a fully relaxed position for spanking. This position also allows for more movement for the spankee, which can help release tension during the scene. Raising up on the knees can help push the buttocks out more, but it also slightly increases muscle tension a bit.|
|Over the Knee||Over the knee. A personal favorite. Not only does this push the buttocks out a bit, it creates a dependence on the spanker to provide physical support to the spankee. This can be a very intimate position, but also requires the spankee to exert a bit more energy to maintain the position, which will result in slightly more tense muscles.|
|Bent Over Furniture||Bent over an object allows the spankee a bit of support, but pushes them against a less moveable object, restricting movement more than the previously discussed positions. Depending on the height of the object, the tension of the leg and buttock muscles is increased, resulting in a more intense spanking. Restraints are oftentimes used in this position, adding an element of bondage to the traditional S&M scene.|
|Standing Bent Over||Standing while bent over/touching the toes or knees is one of the most intense positions for the spankee. The physical strain needed to maintain the position results in extremely tense leg and buttock muscles. This allows very little movement from the spankee, but also requires the spanker to take extra caution to ensure the stability and safety of the spankee. Don’t let them fall over!!! It may take practice, but this position is definitely a “hurts so good” experience.|
|Legs Up!||LEGS UP! Positioning the spankee on their back, holding their legs in the air requires a great deal of core, leg, and buttock strength to maintain. This results in an extremely intense spanking, especially since it exposes the extremely sensitive upper thigh area. While this can be a very fun position, as the spanker, don’t over exert your spankee!!!|
Anything Can Be a Paddle
There are so many different kinds of implements that can be used for spanking. The choice of implements can change the experience for both the spanker and the spankee. Swapping implements can also make the play more exciting and prevent monotony. No one likes a boring scene, so switch it up... or even use a switch. Here are some various implements ranked from the least intense in terms of stinging/pain sensation to the most intense.
|Ruler||Slight burn with long, light marks|
|Hands||Minimal burn with light splotches|
|Shoe||Minimal burn with darker splotches|
|Spoon||Light sting with minimal burn and small, round splotches|
|Standard Paddle||Moderate burn with larger visible patches|
|Round Paddle||Moderate burn with rounded visible patches|
|Paddle with Holes||Moderate sting and burn with hole patterns and visible splotches|
|Belt||Moderate sting and burn with long, thick marks|
|Cat of Nine Tails||High sting and light burn, with thin welts|
|Riding Crop||High sting and moderate burn, with larger, splotchy welts|
|Cane||High sting and high burn, with raised welts|
|Switch||High sting and moderate burn, with thin welts|
|Leather Slapper||High sting and heavy burn, with thick patches/strokes|
|Split Leather Slapper||Heavy sting and high burn, with medium welts|
It’s Not All In the Wrist
Depending on the implement, the spanker may need to change how they wield it. For example, shorter range implements like a short paddle or a shoe can be swung using just the wrist or forearm. While this can allow for faster swats, don’t get carried away! For longer range implements, such as a cane or a switch, the spanker will need to use more of the arm. However, switching it up and doing quick, sharp strokes with a switch can result in an intense sting that breaks up the natural rhythm that we tend to slip into during spanking. The key here is to use controlled and intentional strokes, but keep it fun. Try not to fall into a monotonous pattern, because it will keep all participants fully engaged in the scene.
Don’t Forget the After Care - They Won’t
As the spanker, you are in control of the scene, both during and after. Remember that the physical and emotional strain of enduring a spanking can be intense. So, check in on your partner(s) during and after the scene. Don’t just leave them alone. Instead, take time to comfort them physically and verbally. Use a soothing lotion to help calm the heat of the spanking. You may even want to have a meal together and take some time to discuss the scene. This can help create trust and a deeper connection/bond between all participants. Communication is key to having a successful spanking scene, and to making future scenes even more rewarding.
Now, go get off!